What's the consequence?

I think about sin a lot.  Well, I don't mean think sinfully (though don't we all do that at times too), but about sin, more exactly my sin.

I know I sin.  I know I sin horribly, and that many of my sins are known to no one but God Himself.  I am very sorry for those sins, because I know what they do to my relationship with God.  God have any part of sin in Him, or near Him, so my sin effectively cuts me off from God.

That is... before the grace of Jesus comes into play.

But even as a Christian, knowing I have peace with God in regard to my sins because of the righteousness of Jesus that is imputed to me (Romans 5:1), I still feel guilty over my sins at times.  It is not because I am feeling guilty of being caught for my sin; for looking bad in others' eyes.  Like I said before, most of my sins are probably only known to God Himself, others haven't seen them anyway so they have no impact on their perception of me.  I am not sorry for being caught, but I feel a great sorrow for standing in front of God knowing I have done things against His will.

I have been dwelling on that feeling lately, and a few sermons at churches I visited while on my leave really helped me process it a bit more.  I recognise there has to be a consequence for sin.  Like a court of law, a crime is committed so a punishment must be dealt.  I see my sin, but continue to feel a bit of guilt because personally I don't see a consequence - I ask God for forgiveness and receive grace and mercy, my dutiful brain doesn't rest because I haven't had to pay a price.

Thinking about that is when I realise I don't not see the consequence of my sin, what I am doing is taking it for granted!

My sin has a huge consequence! It's just that as a Christian I do not have to face it.  My sin meant that God sent Jesus to earth; that Jesus chose to leave heaven, to put aside all the power and knowledge and presence of what it means to be God and become a human; to experience a sinful world all while never sinning; then suffer the most horrific death imaginable because of the people's sin; and then on the cross face all of the consequences for all sin for all time.

The consequence of my sin is that God is angry at me - but because of my faith in Jesus to save me that anger was heaped on Jesus instead.  How can I take that for granted?  That must turn my feelings of guilt into unashamed reactions of worship and thanks.  It must also serve as a motivator to not sin, because sinning again after I know Jesus is the pinnacle of taking what Jesus did for me for granted.

But when I do sin, instead of feeling cut of from God and not communicating with Him, or ignoring Him more because I feel guilty, what I need to do is worship Jesus for what He's done, apologise again for causing wrath to fall on Him instead of me, but feel the love and the grace He offers, not to turn away, but turn towards.