Lifting your eyes.

Some years ago a sociologist accompanied a group of mountain climbers on an expedition. Among other things, he observed a distinct correlation between cloud cover and contentment. When there was no cloud cover and the peak was in view, the climbers were energetic and cooperative. When the gray clouds eclipsed the view of the mountaintop, though, the climbers were sullen and selfish.
The same thing happens to us. As long as our eyes are on God's majesty there is a bounce in our step. But let our eyes focus on the dirt beneath us and we will grumble about every rock and crevice we have to cross.For this reason Paul urged, "Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the thingsd right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to the things going on around Christ - that's where the action is. See things from his perspective" (Col 3:1-2 MSG).
Max Lucado, The Great House of God 

I think I have been personally experiencing this lately.  This time of transition has been difficult. 3 months is a long time to continue working after you have resigned.  Your plans are out there - the intention of moving on is known - and whether people intend to or not, their attitude towards you changes. It's very strange after having invested in people's lives over 3 1/2 years that I now experience them pulling away, even before I have left.

It's left me confused with my own emotions, it was never a case of wanting to leave, but feeling God calling me on - but with people's attitudes it actually gets to a point where it would be just easier if I was gone.  However that's not how I am wired, and I desire to finish well the job God gave me.  And that's where I realise I have to lift my eyes to the mountain peak again - and other's in the church need to do that too... because when we drop our eyes, or let clouds of doubt roll in is when our attitudes change, when we treat each other badly, when we become selfish and sullen like the sociologist saw in the mountain climbers.

Unfortunately I cannot do that for others, but I can for myself, and I can ensure I am not creating a cloud covering that blocks other's view of the mountaintop. I realise now that's how I finish well.  I get the impression some people can't wait for me to leave (either out of their own hurt or just wanting everything to move on), and that was drawing me down and making me think I didn't have the opportunity to finish well. But now, I will lift my eyes again and do what God wants me to do. I will focus on His majesty and have a bounce in my step with these few weeks to go.