Seeing the depths of my heart.

Last night I had a revitalising and refocusing theological conversation with three guys contemplating the core of the Gospel and how many 'Christians' today weave a tragic idea of morality into their salvation.  It was refreshing to hear young guys talking about how depraved humanity really is, that it is only God who can save us, that we have no ability in that at all - that sounds strange, refreshed to hear about depravity; but it's only in realising that, and then understanding the nature of God that we can being to let the Gospel work in our lives.

On the way home Chris Tomlin's 'Indescribable' came on in the car.  I was initially focused on how amazing God is and how amazing His creation is that points to Him, but then the last lines of the chorus absolutely floored me.

"You see the depths of my heart, and you love me the same
You are amazing God."

I thought about what lies in the depths of my heart... things I wouldn't want anyone to know... things I am totally ashamed of... because when I take an honest look at the depth of my heart I see much selfishness, even after all these years of following Jesus I still seem to have that horrid human condition right at my core.  These past couple of weeks I think I may have even been embracing it more as than usual, letting my selfishness bubble to the surface and entertaining ideas for my own benefit that are not in God's will.

That's why the line of that song hit me so hard, God sees all of that... He knows exactly how depraved I am, and He loves me the same.  He shows me such grace that He takes away that depravity, there's nothing I can do to clean it up, except let Jesus take it away once again through his atonement on the cross.  He sees the depths of my heart... where I usually do my best to ignore it, to make myself feel good (or at least 'not that bad') - and so last night the first step of me responding to the Gospel in my life once again was actually acknowledging the depths of my heart, so that I could set them at the foot of the cross and let grace and forgiveness wash them away and replace them with hope and purpose and Holy Spirit once again.

Truly; You are amazing God!